it's been a while...

i blame blogger! i blame forgetting my blog password and google account! i blame confusing reset password options!
but other than that...i blame my busy life and my lack of motivation.

anyways, i'm back.

the past few months have been a whirlwind of stress, fun, changes and overall lack of sufficient sleep (ie. no sleeping in past 12). as i lay here in bed, using my gained hour to my advantage, i feel so singular. i feel so disconnected from the outside world and so in my own head. i feel like the only thing i can do is express this feeling on my blog.

it's like the feeling i get when i have an urge to be creative. i feel it in my whole body, and i try and think of how to apply it, but i just can never seem to get it all out. i need more arts and crafts supplies handy or something...

i wanted to put a fancy picture in here to really spice up this entry but it's late, i'm exhausted and fairly unmotivated right now. viscious cycle!!! (see top)

write again soon...and with more excitement.

rainbows and r.e.m.

kitten fever

introducing...


karl




molly




and betsey.

melancholy

fuschia. f-u-s-c-h-i-a.

the only word to describe things right now: blah. b-l-a-h. blah.
there's something about walking through the pouring rain in high heels, missing true friends and job dissapointments to make you just want to curl up in bed with a book and a slice of chocolate cake. it's key to always give yourself something to look forward to. this week it's getting past tuesday.

i'm just thinking about the right words to say

love the youtube references.

i would love to pay for you

down the rabbit hole
and into the park
the day moves fast
from light to dark

the neon lights flicker on the faces
overcrowded and anxious thrifters
chocolate sprinkles stuck to my shoe laces
postcards from long lost drifters

foster mom

Currently waiting to find out if I can foster some kittens. Oooooooooh.

p.s. this is Anise, and I can't adopt her but that doesn't deny her extreme cuteness.

set your mountain on fire

fire bandits


flecks of fire flitter to the floor
making the shapes of monsters, faces and butterflies galore
bandits on the run
the fire is their only sun
crumple the newsprint and snap the twig
spotlight on our own little gig
mom jeans and scarves of silk
chocolate chip cookies and milk
extinguish the flame and venture in the dark
little bits of ash framing our mark

what i do at work

when i'm not hard at work...i try on each pair of sunglasses and shoes.

prom queen

for rhonnie, some dress options:

pink cupcake dress. oh so betsey! i love this one.

saucy little red number

little yellow ballerina!

this reminds me of the virgin suicides. i can totally picture you in it.

this one is super cute and unique! the colours are amazing and it is super flattering.

nice and simple.

so cute, so 80's, so prom!

the wolves (act I and II)

this months mission: being creative.

collage. hem. construct. organize. craft. capture. look. enhance. bead. dye. paint. decorate. remodel. zen-ify.

hey, i've seen you before right?

amigos, photographs, silks, and bonivers.

the bum lifestyle is so vital to maintain in today's busy world. first, ensure you have comfy sweats, preferably with elastic bottoms. next, take a day off when you feel like it. this is usually more successful when you take jobs that you don't make any money from. third, hang out on the balcony, smile into the sun, and exhale. listen to folk music and lounge.

kitty kitty gumdrops

pipe cleaner glasses

original sin

can i get a YAWN YAWN for fashion!?
man, i am wiped. today was very eventful. i did not want to get out of bed this morning, but i did and had a really awesome day at our fashion show. all my judges showed up, were super friendly and loved the show. excuse me while i give myself a little pat on the back.
as much as i have been complaining about these shows, and wanting to ditch all my responsibilities, i'm glad i did it. working on a show is so fun and makes it all worthwhile. it reminded me of back in the day when we'd do the recital every year. just being backstage and seeing the show all together was awesome. i can't believe how much work something so quick can take! so now we just got to do it twice again tomorrow then it'll be over. i can't wait to delete my like 200 emails from this class.

last night, meg and I had to be "security" backstage till 10. we decided we should have a photoshoot. here are the results:
as security, i really shouldn't be allowing things like this to happen. but man, i just wanna take photos.
ooh, ahhh, carpet!
tool belts!




killer squirrels!?


so now i am going to go bum around. i deserve it.
<3
p.s. also witnessed the strangest wedding today. the blind bride had to pick up her seeing eye dogs poop, and no one thought to help her? photos were taken, bubbles were blown and weirdness occured.

volume one

she can do no wrong.



lovelovelove

sentimental heart

little bunnies hopping down the street
subway tracks seperate then meet
the sun floods my eyes with blue
red shimmers, so much to do

buongiorno principessa

three burnt out best friends+ period dramas+ a mixed feeling of clarity and uneasiness= perfect blog time.

grass

the secret spot under the stairs
fold out table with my nappy hairs
pipes above, paint cans on the ground
careful to listen for a warning sound

smoke rings circle above
one closet filled with so much love
debussy playing in my mind
the place that no one can find

come in here to nurse your concussion
listen to the wall's percussion
bang your elbow on the door
feel the cold of the floor

brain child

overcoming and sticking out ruts can be tricky. but...there is a reason they're a rut, they come and go. my ruts can last anywhere from ten minutes to months. i'm currently in this rut of never knowing what to say. it's like my brain and my mouth don't match up. words can't describe the feeling of being wordless. sometimes it makes me feel like my brain is numb. suggestions for brain excercises would be much appreciated.

ultra orange and emmanuelle

Someone talkin' to my soul
Someone shakin' my knee bone
Someone ringing at my door
And I'm crawling on the floor
I got shivers on my own
I got quivers to the bone
It's contagious
Don't know why
Someone drink
My blood like a glass of wine

snow on dead neighbourhoods

as i sit, muching on carrots, the ground is being covered by little white sparkles. although said sparkles prevent good friends from visiting, they sure are pretty.
being snowed in is like a little adventure. it makes you feel way less guilty about just wanting to curl up at home.
i love my little blanket, music and snacks cocoon. mix in some crondiggity and let it snow! let it snow! let it snow!

take me for a drive to the coastline

displaced from reality.

blah-blog time interrupted! be back....

you know i will come down

my future husband.

swallowed in the sea

Dear Emotions,
You're like a rollercoaster. You give me heavy metal dreams. You could make a dead man scream, you're like a rollercoaster.

Now that I got that out of the way. Things are looking up (then down, up, then down). Apart from tedious school assingments, lack of beach and the extreme need for a haircut, I am getting back into the daily grind. And no, not the daily grind from my vacation, which was real grinding. (sigh for questionable drunken dancing). Although my projects are the last thing I want to be thinking too much about, I realize that I only have a month left of school. The time to do is now, the time to bum around being a hippy teenager is about 4 weeks from now. I can't wait for that.

missing you.

don't kiss me goodbye, baby

weekend higlights:
folk music
heathers
getting things done
miss m
cupcakes
mmmuffins
recipes


i'll dance whatever dance you need to dance

Post Vacation Stress and Bummed Virus

Finally getting back into the non-vacation swing of things. It's been rough, but I must move on from Honduras. Movie nights seem to be the most enticing cure, so tonight is the night.
p.s. I will never get over Honduras

A Mighty Mighty Wind

Thanks to Princess for the link up!

Chakaron, Wha Happened?

La Mer, La mer, Qu'on voit danser le long des golfes clairs, A des reflets d'argent, La mer, Des reflets changeants, Sous la pluie.

Currently not being able to get over being away from Honduras. It was a Chakaron-tastic time, complete with hammocks, rainforests, injuries, lovers, friends and that one creepy guy.

A Typical Day in Honduras:
Wake up, look out the window and see sunshine
Eat, lounge, drink, water aerobicise, music, say Ola and Gracias about a bazillion times.
Siesta for a little while
Get dressed up, eat some dinner, play some kings, teach some dance lessons, watch young adult Hondurans shake their beatutiful bodies, gossip about hotel guests, get on a tractor train and then...
disco!

followed by drunken walks home with all the people we picked up, joints, drunken pre bed talks, music, sleepytime.

melt your heart

to all my valentines,
happy i love you day.
currently making cupcakes and chocolate covered strawberries. skipping class.

shiny happy people

marla monday in photobooth evidence:

PANAMA

It's all about Van Halen. It's all about rocking out with yellow sport sunglasses. It's all about air guitaring on your bed while jumping. It's ALL about the big hair.

show your bones

the skeletal view from my bedroom window.

skat

come cute pictures i took of skatty:

ping pong song

can we please all just take a moment to give our fullest appreciation to roof-top hot tubs. especially when said hot tubs are positioned in front of a giant movie projetor screen and surrounded by the toronto skyline.
may we also take a moment for 6 layer cakes. vip access. free hotel porn. screwdrivers. hot tub joints. and of course, motorboating.
one of the greatest parts of the evening had to have been walking through the mysterious velvet curtains and finding HEAVEN ON EARTH. what is this place you may ask....
imagine hundreds of gay men, madonna, lasers and loose morals and you have the greatest place on earth.
highlights included freaking out to enrique, 44 year old gay boyfriends and one sexy man belting out pat benatar as he plays the keyboard.
finish the night with drunken walks home, random go bus posse and a whole lot of giggling and you have the best night ever (well best night since spice.)
little sisters of the world unite!!!!

this post dedicated in memorium of this fan, r.i.p. old friend.

knock knock is there an adult in that room

honduras here we come!

leaving next monday, and i couldn't be more pumped! zip lining through the rainforest is a possibility!

another bogey breakfast

ok, so I have collected myself from Sunday night's insanity...
Just to brief: the spice girls put on the most amazing show I've ever seen. Highlights included each of their solo performances; especially Posh's catwalk and Geri's raining men, amazing sets, costumes and of course a whole lot of gold confetti.
I am now seriosuly contemplating buying scalper tickets for the shows at the end of February. I mean, they end in toronto, how awesome would it be to be at the final show??
Currently getting back to normal life, at school in an overheated computer lab. Seriously, I feel like I'm having one long hot flash as I sit in this sauna of a room.
I am also contemplating getting out of this crap city. I need a little small town loving on the asap and won't feel settled until I get it. So, I'm thinking eff school, eff responsibility. I'm leaving on a jet train, don't know when I'll be back again (saturday for stripper hair's birthday).

eddie murphy eat your heart out

what can i say?
full details to come tomorrow when i have settlde down a bit.

take away shows

http://www.blogotheque.net/
more added!!!!!!

phases of phrases

nothing beats finishing a marketing assingment while drunk off two glasses of wine. and reminiscing. and visiting church bell towers and courtyards late at night.

sex slave

introducing...

my new boyfriend, apa sherpa.

never give up on the good times

one week!!!!

misseed connection

you were wearing a red hat, you had all the right moves. we bonded over blogging and the dj's crapiness. you left in a cab without a trace, i never got to say goodbye. je t'aime mon petit jerk.

also: dear dan levy, i love you and your white glasses. (we hugged) :)

pinky and the brain

last night during my drunk adventures i aquired a book entitled "Biological Psychology". It's basically a text book all about the way the brain functions. It's so funny to think that our brains are so similar from one person to the other, but we can be so different. The book talks about cases where people have had accidents and have recovered, but their brain functions differently, thus making them have an entirely different personality. It's hard to imagine that our pesonality is just based on wiring. Say, for example, this happened to me. Would I no longer be able to recall the boy band knowledge of my 90's upbringing? I mean, that is just an extreme example, but it really amazes me that everythng you know now could one day be erased.
Similarily, lately I've been noticing my memory gets foggier of my childhood as I grow up. Of course the significant, and sometimes very random, events stick out. I wish I could remember more. Although, there's no limit to your memory. You could hear a sound, smell something or just have a deja vu and all of a sudden random memories rush back into your head. I love when you get a really strong memory of a way you were feeling at a specific time, it makes you feel alive.
When I think about what makes me myself and the memories that make me this way, I feel somewhat uneasy. I don't know myself as completely as i would like to. I know what I like and what I don't like, or how I'll act in different situations. What i don't know is what makes me unique and sets me apart from everyone else. What qualities, if erased, would be missed by my friends and family.
This is my mission for the next little while, and I'm sure more thoughts will arise as I make my way through this book.

In other news: you're all I ever wanted. you're all I ever needed. yeahhhhh. so tell me what to do now, when I want you back. doo doo doo doo. (can't shake this amazingness from my head)

little blue jay

doob cruises through the city are oh so nice
crack whores, 90's boy band mix, oatmeal raisin cookies and sibling stop-bys.
i feel refreshed and finally happy...the weekend is here!!!!

la mer

i hate coughing in movie theatres.
especially when you have a terrible non-stop, hacking, hard to stifle cough.
and especially when the people sitting in front of you chose to be right in your face instead of moving a few seats to the side...when the whole row was empty.
especially when the seats are very low so it's crucial that you have a clear view in front of you.
but mostly i hate coughing in the movie and disturbing the close sitters.
it even beats coughing during a lecture.

when you have the kind of cough that requires you to bark in the quietest of moments, it makes you so aware of it, and thus inevitably makes you cough even more.
as soon as your cough is gone and someone else has one, it's so easy to ignore. but when you're the one making the constant interruptions you feel so disruptive.

plus all this hacking hurts my little head, so now i must rest it. bonne nuit.

papillion

i've been waiting, and tonight i get to see the diving bell and the butterfly!

r.i.p.

please follow my lead and hold a candle vigil for mr heath.
goodbye, cowboy.

you'll be singing "can't take my eyes off of you" in the bleachers of heaven forever.

blogger's block

whit* diggity diggity ding dong says: (9:52:19 PM)
i know what you mean. the blogging life really is a tough life.
Simon says: (9:52:48 PM)
FOR REALZ!

wise conversations between two world renowned bloggers and former myspace queens.
haha, oh the days of top 8.

note to self: when down in the dumps, light candles, listen to edith piaf and blog.

french kiss

just so ya know...tonight is romantic comedies from the 90's movie night.

wild ass

snoochie boochie

must. contribute. to blog.

phew!

dead man's curve

nothing feels nicer right now than a clean, organized bedroom. thanks to some man hours, swiffer clothes and ikea my room is liveable again.
also...addicted to satsuma. and burning scented oil. seriously...i need my fix right now.

and i'm back...(from the outside cold that is). man my street is weird at 12:34 a.m. very quiet. and echoey. so if anyone is walking on the sidewalk and your window is open, you can hear. yet, all though it's one of the most echoey streets it is also the road commonly taken by fire trucks. those new fire trucks that make, this new annoying siren sound, which sort of sounds like a skipping speakerbox or something.

anyways....back to the good. it is a very lovely street. on my left i can see the cn tower. and it is all prettily lit up (the best is rainbow during pride!). in front of me i have ocad, like right there...in my face. and the growing a.g.o with all it's crazy construction. to the right you can see straight all the way to college. i like to watch my friends walk from dundas to mccaul, you can see them for so long.

my room is not only clean now, but candle lit. my favourite kind of lighting...and can't help but to love the lights shining in through the massive windows.

i wish we had a fireplace...i love fireplaces. if we did, i would be in front of it all day and night. i would become addicted to the warmth and any time i went outside i would freeze. well maybe that excessive...but either way.

what we DO have that is cool is a sauna in our buildings "lantern club". the club also features a fully equipped billiards table, family favourite ping pong room, and a small library of books for the avid reader.

magic...not tragic?
yes! this day goes under the magic category. time to start keeping count.

postlife postal existence

the wonderful world of Henrik Drescher.


Today I bought the book Postal Seance at Value Village for a very modest $1.99. It's basically his experiment to contact famous dead people. His beautiful letters are mailed from different locations around the world, and almost all of them were never returned to their senders...meaning, they reached their subject? Very random, but a very beautiful book. It even comes with stamps with his drawings so i can conduct my own experiment. Hmm...who first? I think I'll try Ms Audrey Hepburn herself!

slinking around on the town

nerd glasses by day, cat masks by night. luella gets it.